One Year.

Well here we are...

My little love bug is one year old! 

Not sure how it happened, but he's grown into a little boy!

This first year of being his mommy has been quite the journey

From the NICU to his big first birthday bash coming up this weekend seems like it happened in the blink of an eye. I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around him being so big.

But he grew. And so did I. 

Learning how to care for him and become a mother has been such a deeper refining process in my own spirit than I ever imagined.

I am reminded daily, no moment by moment, of my need for the Holy Spirit to reign over me. I need His patience when I run out, His love when I am empty, His peace when I'm overwhelmed. 

I need Him.

I need Him more than I ever have before. 

Getting through days without prayer has become nearly impossible now. In the past I was able to cling to my false sense of self sufficiency but in motherhood there is no such thing.

And I am grateful.

Grayson is wildly energetic and has a very strong will

He is still the smiliest baby I've ever seen and he has such a love for life that I get to see played out every single day. He is such a joy. 

And such a challenge :)

I adore this boy.

For all the hard days, there are just as many fun days filled with laughter. 

He is such a gift, and I try to embrace each day as such.

As for a stat update on Grayson...

He is standing unassisted and he even took his first steps this week!

He is almost 20 pounds and is just about ready for a big boy car seat.

He eats constantly. His favorite food are bananas.

He is busy, busy, on the go, all day long.

Keeps me running!

He loves to read books, climb stairs, and go for long walks in the stroller.

He has begun to develop quite the little temper and discipline has started to reach a new level. He actually understands how to intentionally disobey now as well as how to throw a temper tantrum when he gets upset. All I have to say is that I'm praying for patience and grace. Lol

Motherhood is much more messy than I had ever thought.

I fail so much. I question myself constantly. And I pray for grace continually.

I do my best but I always feel I need to be doing better, and I can only hope that the Lord will continue to work on me, and make me into the mom He wants me to be.

My daily prayer is this:

"Lord teach me how to parent Grayson is such a way

 that it teaches him well, glorifies you, 

and encourages those around me."