My life has never been one of easy paths and rose pedals. My blog is entitled "All Things Beautiful" because although terrible things happen in life and we make stupid mistakes, I always know that my Heavenly Father will always be there to pick me up, wipe the tears from my eyes, and make all things beautiful in His timing. That has been made very evident in my life and I am so thankful.
I grew up in Racine, Wi until I was 14 years old, at which point my mom and I moved up to Wild Rose, WI. This was a huge change for me in my life. Going from city life to country life was a huge transition for me, but I know that it was orchestrated by God. He always know what's best for me. I needed to be out of the city. So the Lord blessed me and my mom with a beautiful little country home and neighbors with a daughter my same age. The family had horses and I had an amazing couple of years learning how to ride horses and enjoy the countryside. Those are some of the best memories of my life.
At one point during this fairytale life I lived, I lost everything. My neighbor with horses moved away, my mom sold my horses, and all of a sudden, I found myself alone. With nothing to do and no one to be with. I was homeschooled and therefore didnt have many friends. Well, I ended up finding a group of friends, but they were not the right crowd for me to get involved with. But I didnt care because I was lonely. They smoke and drank and did drugs, but I didnt care. I just wanted to be with people. So for a long time I didn't do what they did. I just hung out with them. But, just as the Bible says, "bad company corrupts good character" and I began to do the things that my friends did. I lived a party life for nearly a year. During which time I was raped and I saw and experienced terrible things.
All of this came crashing to a sudden end when my mom caught me planning a party over the phone. Of course it all ended at that point and I was grounded for life. Everything came out and my loving mother chose to discipline me according to my actions. Without her I dont know where I would be.
The night that I was caught, my mom yelled at me and sent me to my room, where I laid on my bed and cried and cried. At one point I looked down on the ground and spotted my Bible. At which time I realized how far I had drifted from the Lord and how much I had compromised on all that I believed in. Being raised in the church, I had always had a relationship with the Lord. And in that moment, the gravity of how strongly I had walked away from God hit me...and broke my heart. I skimmed through my Bible, now crying out of a broken heart. I came to a passage in James 4 which says,
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
After reading this, my life was changed. God had broken through my sin and won back my heart. I am forever grateful to serve a God who never gives up on me. I live my life to bring Him praise. He is so worthy. From that time on, from July of 2005 til now, I have dedicated my life to the Lord. Doing my best to bring him honor. Of course I am by no means perfect and I fail each and every day. But I am so thankful that we are not saved by works, but rather by grace through faith. Because if my salvation were based off my own actions, I would certainly never make it. All praise be to God!
