Today marks 7 years that my sweet great grandmother has been gone. This year has been particularly hard for me for some reason. I just really miss her. So I want to write this post in honor of her memory. Below is something I wrote just after she passed. And I read it at her funeral:
My Grandma Noll
12/16/1923-12/11/2006
My grandma died December 11th 2006. She was my hero, my angel, my strength and my world. She was always there for me. My whole life, she was the only one that I knew I could always count on. She took my mom, who was pregnant with me at the time, in to live with her when my mom had nowhere else to go. When I was born, I was the apple of her eye. When I would cry, she would rock me all throughout the night. As I got older, she would walk me to the bus stop and she was always there to greet me when I got home. She was always supportive and always so filled with love for her family. She spoiled me and loved every second of it. She taught my how to ride my first 2-wheeler bike. She was there for me every birthday I ever had. And even on days that weren't necessarily special, she made every ordinary day extraordinary with her love. Every day, every step I took, ever breath I breathed, I knew my Grandma Noll was there for me. She was my hero.
Growing up she practically raised me. We lived with her until I was 4 years old. Even after we moved out, I spent a lot of time at her house. Grandma Noll always had all the right toys, all the best food and the greatest movies. I loved going to grandma's house. Looking back what made her house so special was her loving presence. She was my whole world.
When I would have bad days, she was there. Often times there wasn't much spoken aloud, but she was there and her loving presence made me strong. I would sit on her lap and she would hold me and somehow everything got better. I only stopped sitting on her lap when I was about 12 because I was afraid of hurting her. But she was such a strong woman and her inner strength is what I needed to help me go on with life. She was my strength.
As she got older, she didn't always have much to say, but she would sit back and watch us, her beloved family, with a smile on her face. She was so happy and her presence made us feel safe. She was the cornerstone of our family. I know that even after I moved away, she thought of me and prayed for me every day. She was my angel.
Now that she is gone I can't help but feel like a large part of me is missing. Her presence and her love was what my whole life was built on. On the other hand, I realize that who I have become as a young adult has her virtues and example of love written all over it. Who she was has been integrated onto me and that will never die. Her spirit lives on, in the hearts of her family. How she impacted our lives will never leave us. We are her family and she loved us so much.
When she was in that hospital bed and she could not speak because of the oxygen mask, I remember the look in here eyes was just screaming "I love you!" On Sunday morning she was doing so well. They even took the oxygen mask off of her (she hated that thing). Once it was off, she was able to talk and even laugh a little. I would hold her hand and she would hold onto mine so tight. She stared into my eyes for half an hour at one point. I told her I loved her and she said "I love you too." That moment meant everything to me. I am so blessed to have had that experience with her in her last days. When I had to leave I said "Bye, Grandma!" And she responded, "Bye, Honey." I will never forget that day. It was the last time I got to see my favorite person in the whole world. Her presence changed my life. I will never forget this sweet, loving, amazing woman: my Grandma Noll.
