"A wise woman takes nothing for granted.
She is thankful to be loved and seeks to make herself more lovely."
~Debi Pearl
Over the last month, I have read a book that has truly changed my life. God has used it to truly change my heart, my attitude, my mind, and most importantly, my marriage. My focus is now on myself, and on how I am acting, rather than fault-finding my husband. And the results of obeying what I have been taught have been priceless.
The book is called Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl.
If you are a wife, or ever plan to be, this book needs to be something you read.
One of the most important lessons I took away from this book was to have a merry heart, and to be thankful and grateful and full of joy. This lesson has touched almost every aspect of my life and has enriched me as a woman of God. In the book, Debi explains that "Being thankful and grateful is the key to spiritual victory." She also says that "Joy is the result of a thankful heart" and later she explains that "Discontentment is not the result of circumstances, but rather the state of the soul". Therefore, if you desire to be full of joy, you must begin with giving up your discontentment, and being thankful for the many blessings you do have. Using this lesson in terms of your marriage, Debi says, "When he first fell in love with you, you were a sweet little thing, full of laughter and fun. From the bottom of your soul, you were thrilled with him...Is he still married to that sweet little thing...?"I have learned that many husbands find their confidence in the contentment of their wives. When we are discontent, and filled with demands and critiques, our husbands are shot down; feeling like they can do nothing right. On the flip side, we can be an encouragement to our husbands by being thankful, grateful, and filled with joy. It is a way we can serve him and honor him.
Which leads me to another huge point Debi made in her book that really changed my life. Over and over again she says "Reverence you husband" and "Honor your husband." And I have always known that the Bible says we must respect our husbands and submit to them as unto the Lord... But I don't think I fully understood how to do that until now. In her book, Debi gives many real-life examples from letters she has received and although many of the women have had ample reason to be mad at their husbands' sin, Debi always answers with: "Honor your husband." One of my favorite quotes in the entire book is from her husband wherein he says, "No man has ever crawled out from under his wife's criticism to become a better man - no matter how justified her condemnation" It is not my place to be his conscious, I need to leave that up to the Holy Spirit. It is only my place to be his helper, his encourager, and to serve him and to obey and honor him - as unto the Lord.
Living out my life in obedience to the Lord and also to my husband, and striving to constantly serve him and honor him, has made our lives and our marriage so much more fulfilling and it's so sweet. We are both much happier and I not only see a change in me, but I can see a change in him. He is more confident, more tender towards me, and overall more happy. I am a source of comfort and joy to him, rather than a source of condemnation and discouragement. This is how God has designed marriage to be. I respect him and honor him and obey him, as I would the Lord, and he loves me. There is so much peace in living out a marriage that honors God.
