A Thankful Heart

"The joy of the Lord is my strength"

Psalm 28:7

A few months ago, the Lord taught me a lesson that changed my life forever... That lesson was about the emotional state of my heart. I was challenged with these difficult questions: "Am I filled with joy? Am I am cheerful, happy, thankful person? Am I content?" 

Unfortunately, most often, the answers to those questions was "No I am not." I had to learn to choose happiness, thankfulness, and contentment. At first it was a very difficult transition. I had to realize that my consistent discontentment was actually a sin. And I feel that discontentment is often times the way that Christians stumble in their every day lives. Truth is, contentment is not based on your circumstances, it is the state of one's heart.

There is a quote from one of my favorite books which perfectly illustrates the concept of choosing between joy and bitterness...

"Practice makes perfect. Practice having a merry and thankful heart. I have known people who, though they did not have a natural knack for music, started piano lessons and practiced every day. After two or three years, their fingers moved across the keys easily and their music sounded sweeter and more fluid every time I heard them. If you ask them, "How do you know to hit all those notes?" They answer, "Practice. I have practiced so much, I don't think about it. It just happens." Life is just like that. Most people have practiced hitting the notes of bitterness, sourness, hurt feelings, and frustration so long that their soul finds the discordant notes easily, almost without a thought. But you don't have to continue practicing discord. You can practice joy and thanksgiving just as easily, and certainly with more pleasure...

Practice makes perfect."

Since learning this lesson, every aspect of my life has changed. I am a happier person, a more grateful wife, a more positive woman, and I no longer find the negative in situations, instead I gravitate to the positive. That being said, I am not perfect at it. But just as the verse in Psalms says, "The joy of the Lord is my strength" I find so much strength in choosing joy instead of bitterness. Being empowered by the strength that comes from the Lord, truly does bring strength to my soul.

There is so much to be thankful for. 

Heaven-Focused

"But our citizenship is in heaven. 

And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ"

Philippians 3:20

I have been feeling spiritually drained this morning. I long for more of Jesus in my life. There is so much filth and evil in this world. My heart aches for those who are lost and broken. It's days like this that I get a little selfish, and honestly just want to go *home* and meet my Maker. My heart longs for more of His presence. I cannot wait for the day that I can fall at His feet and worship Him.

In this world, sometimes I feel so discouraged. When the Bible refers to followers of Jesus as strangers to this world, I am starting to understand it more fully. I am not "at home" here. The world does not understand me, and I do not understand it. People love their sin. They love their own gods. They refuse to acknowledge Jesus as Lord. I want so badly for them to be transformed, by the love of Christ. But I know they will not see unless God opens their eyes. 
Oh how I pray that God would be revealed!

I am so thankful for a regenerated heart. Why God chose to reveal Himself to me, I'll never know. But I am so thankful that He has. And that I can know the power of His love in my life.

I am nothing without Jesus. I was created to bring Him glory.

How can I go on without Him? 

How can I breathe if He does not give me breath?

How can I move forward if He does not go before me?

How can the created have purpose in life without the direction of the Creator?

How can I praise if He does not give me the knowledge of His goodness?

Lord, thank you for your amazing love. Help me live my life in a way that would draw people to your throne of grace. Reveal yourself, open the eyes of the blind, let them see your glory and be transformed by your love. Continue to transform me. 
Lord. I long for more of you, and less of me. 
Be glorified in me. I am satisfied in You.

"For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. 

To Him be the glory forever.

 Amen."

A Tearful Reminder

"The Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away,

May the name of the Lord be praised"

Job 1:21

Today my heart was completely overwhelmed with sorrow. A woman in our church lost her husband this week in a car accident... She has two young children. As they stood in the front row, only a few rows in front of me, holding each other, my heart completely broke for them. The son looked to be about 9 or 10 and the daughter likely around the age of 3. The mom looked so strong. An amazing peace seemed to be with her. Yet, how difficult it must have been to come to church on Father's Day, knowing she had just lost the father of her sweet children. After worship, the pastor explained the situation, and reminded the family that they are not alone; for when one part of the church family grieves, we as the church grieve with them. Then we surrounded the family, praying and weeping, laying our hands on them. 

The rest of the service carried on, with a beautiful message about Fathers and their vital role in the home. Still, my heart was breaking for the family. I cannot imagine being in her position. After the message, there were a few more songs, during which I watched the mother and oldest child raise their hands in worship to God. That was when I truly broke. I began to weep as I watched them. How beautiful it was to see their faithful worship to God even in the midst of such tragedy. It reminded me of how I have responded to the "tragedies" I've experienced in the past (which seem like nothing in comparison). My heart was filled with conviction as I recalled running from God during my darkest hours. Rebelling against Him for his supposed lack of goodness. How foolish I have been! And how often have I taken my husband for granted. 

If you are reading this, please pray for this family. 

And remember to count each day as a blessing.

Running Your Race

"...let us throw off everything that hinders, and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus..."

Hebrews 12:1-2

Over the past couple of months, I have been training to run a 1/2 marathon (13.5 miles). And the training itself has been quite the journey. There have been times I wanted to give up, but as I endured through the pain, and reached my goals, I found great accomplishment and physical growth and strength. This training has reminded me a lot of my relationship with the Lord. There are times when life just gets hard, and I get selfish, and I don't feel like honoring the Lord with my actions. And if I give in to my selfishness, I feel terrible afterwards...but if I endure, and calm my pride, and obey the Lord with my thoughts, attitudes and actions, I see growth both spiritually and relationally. 

The Bible urges us to run our race with perseverance and to throw off the sin that so easily trips us up, and to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. I just love that imagery. I can just see a runner, keeping her eyes on the finish line, running with all her strength, even as the course gets rough and people try to pull her down...she keeps running towards that finish. 

That is how our walk with the Lord should be. Focused and determined to reach the finish line, to meet Jesus face to face, and to hear Him say "Well done". 

Reality Check

"God is most glorified in me, when I am most satisfied in Him"

-John Piper-

This morning I watched a video on John Piper's Desiring God blog about a young couple who chose to get married, despite the fact that one of them was severely mentally disabled due to a car accident. Their names are Ian and Larissa. The couple began dating in college and had big plans for a wonderful life spent together. They planned on being married in the near future. But before a ring was bought, Ian was in a nearly fatal car accident, throwing the couple into a life they had never imagined. My heart ached for them as I watched their video online. As the tears rolled down my cheek, I felt so stupid and so selfish for placing all the demands on my own husband to live up to what "I need".  Today's culture (in and outside of the church) has placed so much value on personal happiness; as if it is all that matters. But when you're in a marriage, the truth is, your own personal happiness has much less value than popular culture would have you believe. Marriage is not all about the wife's happiness nor is it all about the husband's. Really, a God-honoring marriage is not about the couple at all. It is about God. It is to bring Him glory and to be the picture of His love to the world. This story this morning was just such a wonderful reminder that my satisfaction needs to be found in Christ. Not in my marriage. And it has challenged me to take a closer look at my relationship with my husband. Do we seek to honor Christ by loving and serving each other? Or are we primarily focused on our own happiness. Reality Check.

In a post written by Larissa about why they chose to be married, she says, "...it was simple. We love each other. And we love God. And we believe that He is sovereign and loving and in control of all things....I still don't think Ian would have ever left me if the roles had been reversed. And walking away from my best friend was never truly an option." 
What an amazing testimony!

Watch their video here: Ian & Larissa 

Attention All Wives (or young women who hope to be)

"A wise woman takes nothing for granted. 

She is thankful to be loved and seeks to make herself more lovely." 

~Debi Pearl

Over the last month, I have read a book that has truly changed my life. God has used it to truly change my heart, my attitude, my mind, and most importantly, my marriage. My focus is now on myself, and on how I am acting, rather than fault-finding my husband. And the results of obeying what I have been taught have been priceless.

The book is called Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl.

If you are a wife, or ever plan to be, this book needs to be something you read. 

One of the most important lessons I took away from this book was to have a merry heart, and to be thankful and grateful and full of joy. This lesson has touched almost every aspect of my life and has enriched me as a woman of God. In the book, Debi explains that "Being thankful and grateful is the key to spiritual victory." She also says that "Joy is the result of a thankful heart" and later she explains that "Discontentment is not the result of circumstances, but rather the state of the soul". Therefore, if you desire to be full of joy, you must begin with giving up your discontentment, and being thankful for the many blessings you do have. Using this lesson in terms of your marriage, Debi says, "When he first fell in love with you, you were a sweet little thing, full of laughter and fun. From the bottom of your soul, you were thrilled with him...Is he still married to that sweet little thing...?"I have learned that many husbands find their confidence in the contentment of their wives. When we are discontent, and filled with demands and critiques, our husbands are shot down; feeling like they can do nothing right. On the flip side, we can be an encouragement to our husbands by being thankful, grateful, and filled with joy. It is a way we can serve him and honor him. 

Which leads me to another huge point Debi made in her book that really changed my life. Over and over again she says "Reverence you husband" and "Honor your husband." And I have always known that the Bible says we must respect our husbands and submit to them as unto the Lord... But I don't think I fully understood how to do that until now. In her book, Debi gives many real-life examples from letters she has received and although many of the women have had ample reason to be mad at their husbands' sin, Debi always answers with: "Honor your husband." One of my favorite quotes in the entire book is from her husband wherein he says, "No man has ever crawled out from under his wife's criticism to become a better man - no matter how justified her condemnation" It is not my place to be his conscious, I need to leave that up to the Holy Spirit. It is only my place to be his helper, his encourager, and to serve him and to obey and honor him - as unto the Lord. 

Living out my life in obedience to the Lord and also to my husband, and striving to constantly serve him and honor him, has made our lives and our marriage so much more fulfilling and it's so sweet. We are both much happier and I not only see a change in me, but I can see a change in him. He is more confident, more tender towards me, and overall more happy. I am a source of comfort and joy to him, rather than a source of condemnation and discouragement. This is how God has designed marriage to be. I respect him and honor him and obey him, as I would the Lord, and he loves me. There is so much peace in living out a marriage that honors God. 

Busiest Year of My Life (2011-2012)

While January is always a month where I look forward to the year ahead, and get excited for all the adventures it holds; it is also a time that I look back on all that has happened in the last year. I reminisce on all the good memories, on all the bad mistakes, and on all the growth I've experienced spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. 

This January, I am in awe when I look back on everything that has happened since this time last year. This year has certainly been the busiest, most stressful and also most rewarding year that I have ever experienced in all my life. 

November 2010: Met Benjy, began dating :)

February 2011: Got engaged! 

February 2011: Moved from Marshfield, Wi to Minooka, Il

February 2011-June 2011: Wedding planning!

June 2011: We bought our first house!

July 2011: Got married to the love of my life! :)

December 2011: Benjy got offered a job at Trek Corporate in Madison, Wi 

January 2012: We moved to Sun Prairie, Wi and settled into a cute little apartment :)

So much has happened over the last year! But I could not be more thankful! The Lord has been so awesome and I have certainly learned through all of this that the He is in control of my life, and I'm just along for the ride. :)

The Heart of God

This morning I had a very refreshing time with the Lord. I sat and read my Bible for about an hour, then I felt led to read through a couple friends' current blogs. Two of my friends are on a 11 month, 11 country missions trip right now and they blog regularly. If I am being entirely honest, lately I have not kept up with their blogs. I have gotten to a place where I am just too busy with "me" and my own life and I haven't even been doing my regular devotions. But as I read through their most recent posts, my heart began to break for the sick, famined, impoverished, lonely, destitute people in the world that most of us in our "american-dream-fairytail-life" never give a second thought about. And then my heart and mind's eye was opened once again to the memories of living in Africa. All the people I met, all the children I held and played with, all the people I prayed for and watched come to the Lord. All the poverty I saw, all the broken people I came to know... Have I forgotten? I feel as if overtime, I have become the comfortable, Americanized Christian that I used to detest. Those people still exist. Those people are still hurting. How could I have gotten to this place of complacency? 

Tears began to roll down my cheeks. My heart was and is still so burdened for the hurting people in this world. For all those who are so hungry for the love of Christ. And for all the sick, dying, lonely, scared, starving children. All I want is to go hold them, play with them, and share the love of Jesus with them. Then I began to wonder why the Lord has me here. I am not in a position now, being a newlywed, that I can just pick up and go to Africa, as my heart was screaming for me to do. So why do I feel this way... Why does every fiber of my being want to jump on the next plane to Africa and spread the Gospel? 

Then I was gently reminded from the Lord, I felt Him say,

"Don't you understand? This heart of brokenness for the hurting, lost people of the world is a small taste of how I hurt for them. I want you to have my heart of compassion. I will use you in my timing, in ways that you may not expect. But I never want you to lose this feeling. This is my heart."

So then, as tears continued stream down my face, I fell to my knees in prayer, with a completely overwhelmed heart. I prayed for Africa, I prayed for the people that are out in the field spreading the love of Christ, I prayed for those who are hurting, for the children who are starving, and the young girls being forced into the sex trade. I began to intercede for the lost and broken. 

Then I finally realized, this is the way we as Christians are supposed to be. If the love of Christ lives in us, we are supposed to have compassion that leads to prayer and action in helping those who are in need.  I do not know how the Lord plans to use me to further his kingdom...But for now, I will sit here, with a broken heart, and pray.